Dating and Relationship Advice

According to Urban Dictionary, a textationship is “a friendly, romantic, sexual or intimate relationship, either brief or long-term, between two people whereby text messaging is utilized as the primary form of communication throughout.”

If you're wondering whether you've been in a textationship before, ask yourself this: have you ever had a flakey friend who can never find time to meet up? Have you ever felt a spark with someone you have never actually met in real life?

A textationship requires minimal effort and indicates a lack of respect, which no one deserves. If someone is making zero effort to see you in real life, it might make sense to just cut them off completely.

To help you get a sense of what textationships are and how to avoid them, I've made a list of the different types below.

The are-we-ever-going-to-meet-up textationship

You meet someone over a dating app who seems like the real deal. Your personalities vibe, the spark is there, and the chemistry feels straight out of a rom-com. That being said, you’ve never actually met in real life. You’ve exchanged saucy pics and made vague plans for the future, but the other person is always busy with work or has plans already.

How to avoid: Try to schedule a low-maintenance date. Give them three opportunities to cancel or reschedule, and no more. If can’t even commit to a casual breakfast or weekend coffee date, that's a huge red flag. People will make time for those who matter to them. End of story.

The hit-it-and-quit-it textationship

You met the other person on an app or in a bar. You two spent the night together and felt fireworks, but you suspect that they're avoiding you. Still, you want to give them the benefit of the doubt that they might just have a hectic life, and aren't snubbing you after getting what they want.

How to avoid: Don’t beat around the bush. Being direct in this situation might be awkward, but it is the best way to resolve your concerns. Ask them frankly if all they’re looking for is a casual relationship. This will give them an out and help clarify their behavior.


The platonic textationship

This can happen between friends (even besties) over the years. Perhaps one of you got married and had kids while the other one stayed single. When you’re an adult, you might not hang with someone as frequently as you did in childhood or your college days. But it’s still important to check in with each other beyond text messaging. Feeling like a loved one is ignoring you is a hurtful experience.

How to avoid: If the person is really your friend, they won’t mind being held accountable for their behavior. Kindly communicate to this person why you feel disrespected or neglected. If they don't take our concerns seriously, maybe it's time to embark on separate paths.