Dating and Relationship Advice

Sliding into somebody’s DMs is kind of scary. Especially when it’s for sexy or romantic reasons. How do you start a conversation with someone out of nowhere? Will they think you’re weird? Will you creep them out?

Don’t spiral. DMing doesn’t have to be daunting. It can even be fun — like a flirty exercise in getting out of your comfort zone and beefing up your self-confidence.

Here are some tips on how to smoothly slide in DMs.

Make Sure You’re Public

Unless you have the world’s hottest profile pic, it’s a safe bet that someone won’t respond to a DM unless they can see your profile and make sure you’re not a serial killer. Set that profile to public.

Freshen Your Feed

You also need to make sure your feed is enticing. How long has it been since you’ve posted something new or a pic that shows your face? No one wants to scroll back pages and pages just to see what you look like.

Follow Them First

Give them a follow and before you even think about sending a DM, see if they follow you back. Chances are if they don’t follow you back, they probably won’t be interested enough to respond to a DM.

Be Realistic

I’m all for shooting your shot, but Kim Kardashian probably isn’t going to respond to your DM. Neither will that smoking hot DJ with a million followers or gorgeous bikini model from Brazil. But the cute girl from your college calculus class or that sweet barista from the coffee shop? They might.

Do Your Homework

Never, ever just slide in with a “hey” or a “what’s up?” Talk about boring and LAZY. Do your homework and check out their feed. How do you know them? What common interests do you have? Tailor the message to them, and you’re more likely to get a positive response.

Ask Questions

Conversations are like tennis; you have to keep the ball moving back and forth. A great way to keep the ball moving? Ask questions. If they’ve recently tweeted about a TV show or posted a pic of a dog, ask them about it. This does double duty: asking a question shows you care because you noticed something specific about them and motivates them to answer.

Start Strong with a GIF

If thoughtful questions aren’t your thing, send a GIF. Everyone likes to laugh.

Be Yourself

The more genuine you are, the more likely that they will respond. Don’t try to act cool or crack jokes just to impress them, as they’ll A) see through it right away and B) will be immediately weirded out or annoyed. If you’re concerned that who really are isn’t good enough, think about it like this: do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t like you for who you are?

Don’t Be a Creep

No crude language or sexual innuendoes. And for God’s sake, NO DICK PICKS.