A Psychologist Shares Tips For Having More Success on Dating Apps
If you’ve used a dating app before, you probably know the struggle. Endless conversations that don’t lead to dates, swiping to no avail, and maybe even meeting a creep or two.
And that’s after all the stress of creating your profile. How many pictures with friends should you have? How the heck do you write a witty bio? It’s hard to know!
Thankfully, psychologist Dr. Diane Strachowski, known as @backtolovedoc on Instagram, shared some helpful tips in a post. Here’s a summary of the information she shared that can help you have more success on dating apps:
Which pictures to choose
Pictures are a great way to show, not tell, your personality. Some ideas she gave were photos of you cooking your favorite dinner, sitting at a cafe you’d love to have a date at, doing something adventurous, or an outdoor spot with good lighting. Don’t just have mirror selfies and no pics of you wearing sunglasses.
You’ll want around four to six current photos, in which one is a full-body shot. Focus on finding ones that have good lighting (you’ll know it when you see it) and are fun (a.k.a, no headshots).
Also, don’t make swipers guess who you are! The photos should be of you, or at least not ones with any friends who look similar.
The app with the best results
Which app should you download? All of them — kind of. Each app has its pros and cons, so try them all and see which one you like best and are willing to keep.
Remember to focus on long-term success, not short-term, and be willing to try dating multiple people at once (at least in the beginning).
How to give your profile and bio a makeover
Dating app algorithms prioritize new profiles, but don’t worry if you’ve had yours for a while — just change it up! Switch out the pictures and prompts if the app has them.
Go all-in with light, fun, and creative content. It’s not as “cool” as you may think to pretend you don’t care. Don’t forget to show what you want in a relationship and what you’re like as a partner. What are you looking for? What kinds of unique and exciting dates do you want to go on?
While you’ll want to add those details, don’t share everything. Think of your profile as a teaser with conversation starters, such as “Ask me about that time at band camp.”
Having a follow-up convo
Following up is an important part of maintaining a dating relationship. Remember your intentions — whether it’s a long-term partner, hookup, et cetera — and make time for what that entails. Ask your match some interesting, original questions that lead to more than just two-word answers (and maybe entail controversial opinions!).
Some people may want to meet virtually, and some will want to meet ASAP in person. Respect your boundaries and your match’s comfort levels.
But if you feel like the conversation isn’t going anywhere and they don’t want to meet, it’s OK to move on. Just send a nice follow-up message (c’mon people, please no more ghosting).