Dating and Relationship Advice

It always seems to start with locking eyes. Across the room, in moments of intensity, or pushed up against pillows. You lock eyes and then you feel that inexplicable spark that says “ooh I like him”, “this could be the one”, or “damn he’s hot”.

For Mark and I, we locked eyes at our third team meeting. At first, I wasn’t sure if we were experiencing chemistry or I was just generating another crush–but I learned so you don’t have to. Here are five ways to know you if what you are feeling is actually chemistry:

You Don’t Have to Think About Things

Whenever Mark came up to my desk, I wouldn’t have to worry about what to say. I wouldn’t have to plan out my contributions or practice my little quips. It was just natural: him and I diddling about whatever came into our heads. That’s the first sign of chemistry: an effortless ability to talk.

You Adapt

Sometimes, I think I have great rapport with a guy because we are lighting up at a group hang. Then, when everyone but us leaves, I realize that he and I weren’t really into each other, rather just liked talking shit with each other.

Mark and I were able to make each other laugh whether it was one-on-one, a small group, a business meeting, or a crowded room of strangers. We, and our chemistry, adapted to any situation.

You Think of Him

Long story short, whenever I see a petunia I think of Mark. Whenever I hear a certain phrase or see a particular picture, I think of him and smile. This is because of the treasure trove of inside jokes and shared expressions that he and I developed during our time together.

Whenever I hear one of those phrases or images that makes me think of him, our chemistry starts bubbling up again. It’s the basic but brilliant methodology that iris uses to start relationships and keep the chemistry going.

It Feels Like Friday

You know those days where the weekend starts at 10am? When you have fun plans that night, a great new outfit, and no consequential work to do? That’s what chemistry in a relationship feels like; you’re excited for the next step because you know, no matter what, it will be fun, freeing, and an adventure worth taking. You feel like Friday at 5pm with him.

Chemistry is when the small things become big things. Did he flirtatiously smirk at you? Did his hands linger on your desk? Is he always saying your name in Zoom meetings? These are all instances of small, mutual moments becoming big, bold signs of attraction. That’s iris for you; matching moments of reaction to chemical interactions.

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