Dating and Relationship Advice

Back in 2012, I met the love of my life. At the time, I was a disabled (I have cerebral palsy and use a wheelchair) college student finishing her Bachelor’s degree. We matched on a dating site, and I can 100% say that love does find you when you least expect it. Today, we just had our 10th anniversary in August and are still very much in love.

I will share my experiences with you and give tips on how you can succeed on the Iris Dating App. These are just suggestions. Everything won’t work for everyone. However, you can try them and see if they give you results. I firmly believe that every well-meaning person can find love if they are willing to put themselves out there.

Don’t Answer the Messages that Make You Feel Uncomfortable

I was guilty of doing this when I started my online dating journey. Let’s face it; every woman has run into a creeper online. It shouldn’t happen, but it does. I’ve gotten my share of “I’d love to see you in a bikini” and even some messages that sexualized my disability. Please do yourself a favor and delete them head-on. These men are not interested in you. They’re interested in what they can do with you.

I answered these messages and tried to steer them in another direction. It never works. I know many of us are “awkward and desperate for love.” (Friends quote!) But, these messages aren’t worth your time.

Do Answer the Messages that Seem Genuine, Even if the Profile is Lacking

This tip, dear readers, is how I met my man.

His message consisted of “Hi. You seem really cool and cute, and I would love to get to know you.”

It was short, sweet, and, most importantly, not creepy. However, when I clicked on his profile, it was pretty bare. He wrote, “I don’t know what to put in these things. Just message me if you want to know something.”

Did it turn me off? Yes, a little. I’m a sucker for a good communicator; this was never one of my baby’s strong points. I would never have known how kind, friendly, and funny he was if I had written him off. Additionally, it was so rare that I received an honest message. I had to reply.

I haven’t looked back since.

Give it Some Time Before Meeting and Bring Someone With You When You Do

My partner and I spent a month talking and texting on the phone before we met in person. Speaking for a while first will give you a good idea of how the person is. You might be able to spot some red flags early on, and you can establish a sense of comfort.

Getting to know him over the phone was excellent. He attempted to contact me every day and was always polite, funny, and sweet. The right ones will always find a way to make it known that they are into you. Once the month was over, we planned to meet, and I was excited. Keep in mind, though, that doesn’t always go as planned.

You should always bring someone with you when meeting someone online. If things get uncomfortable, you won’t be alone.

Related: How to Smoothly Slide Into DMs Without Being Weird

Don’t Count Someone Out if the First Meeting Doesn’t Go Well

I was really nervous on the day we met. Even when dressed in my Red Hot Chili Peppers shirt, a cute skort, and my trusty Converse sneakers, I could barely talk to him. My honey is a total metalhead, and he showed up in all black and big combat boots; he’s 6’4. Even though he was gentle on the phone, you can see how this might intimidate a 4’10 girl in a wheelchair.

He even brought two friends in addition to the one I had with me to make things less awkward. I am still friends with both of them to this day. The problem was he was cute. I am so awkward around good-looking guys.

The meeting ended badly, as I couldn’t form a sentence. I also didn’t feel any sparks, so I was ready to give up on this one. But he didn’t. He called, and we set something up to meet one on one. The sparks flew.

If I hadn’t agreed to that meeting, we would have never made it to where we are today.

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