Dating and Relationship Advice

Sometimes it's hard to tell if a relationship should end. If you’re with someone long enough, you’re bound to argue and sometimes even flat-out annoy each other. But does that mean you should break up?

First, determine if your relationship is worth fighting for. Every relationship is unique, but there are a few core aspects that make it healthy, like:

  • You trust each other.
  • Your long-term goals align.
  • You feel comfortable with them.
  • You respect them, and they respect you.
  • You’re both able to forgive and want to make things work.

If you have these core aspects in your relationship — or at least are working towards them — you have something solid. Every relationship has its ups and downs. But if you’re thinking of tapping out at the first bump in the road, then maybe consider giving it one last shot. Sometimes the smallest things can effect the most significant change.

Date like you did at the beginning of your relationship.

Balancing a relationship and life’s responsibilities isn’t easy. Sometimes we take stress out on our partners or take our partners for granted. To rekindle the spark, it’s important to remember what initially drew you both together.

A fun way to do that is to date like you did at the beginning of your relationship. Prioritize going on dates at least once a week and ask personal questions. You can even re-create your first date for the ultimate dose of nostalgia.

Communicate everything.

If you’re not careful, a lot can go unsaid in relationships. So if you're thinking it’s time to end things, you might as well lay everything out on the table. It couldn’t possibly make things worse.

What it could do, though, is bring up issues that neither of you realized were there. Also, talk about what you want more of in the relationship. Communication will always be essential. If you don’t learn how to do it now, you’ll encounter similar issues in your next relationship.

Listen to what they have to say.

It’s important to talk about what you feel and experience, but you also have to listen to your partner. That means putting your phone down, asking questions when you need to, and seeking to understand rather than be right.

A relationship involves two people. If one of you feels like they’re not being heard, then your connection is bound to fizzle out.

Create goals together.

Talking can only do so much. Once you’ve communicated any unspoken issues, it’s time to create a game plan. How do you want to change things in the relationship? What’re some tangible goals you can both work towards?

Having shared relationship tasks can help you feel closer, too. Acting like you’re on a team promotes a sense of togetherness that a relationship needs to thrive.

Let go of negative memories.

This last part might feel like the hardest. Whether you were hurt, disrespected, or felt unloved, you have to let those negative emotions go if you want the relationship to feel healthy again. That doesn’t mean you should sweep things under the rug, but it does mean not re-hashing the past and holding it over your partner’s head.

Letting go of the past is necessary to give your relationship a fighting chance.

Download Iris