Dating and Relationship Advice

Have you ever gone on a date with a match that you met online, only to find out that he’s one of the rudest people you’ve ever met?

I once went on a date with a guy at a great steakhouse in Manhattan. When I tried to order a steak, he said in front of the waiter, “it’s not attractive for a woman to eat meat” and then told the waiter that I would be eating a salad instead.

I was so appalled at what he did, that I excused myself to the bathroom. On the way, I told the waiter to send over the biggest steak they had for me. The look on my date’s face was priceless when our food was delivered to the table.

Having both polite and rude dates is part of the dating experience. But when you’re on a bad date, it can seem like time is moving in slow motion and your patience is running thin. Remember, just because you agree to go out with this person, doesn’t mean that you have to be a victim of their rudeness for an entire night. Here are four different ways you can handle a rude date.

Excuse Yourself

If you’re feeling a little flustered because of something rude your date did, feel free to excuse yourself to the restroom. That way you have time to take a few breaths and gather your thoughts. From there, you can decide if it’s worth it or not to bring up the rude action to your date.

If you excuse yourself directly after your date acts rudely, they may get the hint that they did something that you didn’t like. This alone might change their attitude for the remainder of the date!

Shut Down Rude Comments as They Arrive

If your date continues to make a lot of rude comments, shut them down and change the topic to something more neutral. If they’re talking about their ex girlfriends a lot, playfully say something like “Wow. You seem to care a lot about your ex girlfriends.” Then ask them about something else like their family ("do you have any siblings?") to change the topic.

If they’re snapping at waiters and complaining about the staff, you could mention that you worked in a restaurant back in college and that there are a lot of moving parts involved in running a restaurant. Shutting down rude comments will make them feel embarrassed, and hopefully change their attitude for the rest of the date.  

A Taste of Their Own Medicine

If you’re not the shy type, you may get a kick out of giving your date a taste of their own medicine. If they’re being rude, be a little rude back! Chances are you’re never going to see this person again, so you might as well have fun with it.

If they’re constantly checking their phone, check yours twice as long, or even answer a phone call. If he’s not listening to you when you’re speaking to him, act like you’re distracted by something whenever he’s speaking to you.

If they have wandering eyes for other women in the restaurant, flirt with the waiter whenever he comes to the table. If your date has any brain cells, they’ll catch on to this blunt mirroring technique and switch up their attitude fast.

Leave

If he still hasn’t changed his attitude, you have every right to end the date and leave. Remember, you never have to sit through a social situation that makes you feel uncomfortable.

You don’t necessarily have to be rude yourself when ditching. Just say something like, “I’m sorry, but this isn’t going to work out” and get up and leave. This may ultimately make your rude date mad, and cause them to be even ruder or call you names, but this is just confirmation that he’s not the one for you (or anyone) anyway.

The Bottom Line

Having a rude date can be an unpleasant experience if you let the rude person do whatever they want. Most rude people are selfish and used to getting their way, and chances are nobody has called them out on their behavior before.

By excusing yourself, shutting down rude comments, giving them a taste of their own medicine, or even leaving the date, you can stop yourself from being a victim of your rude date.