Dating and Relationship Advice

Ghosting is never 100% okay, but sometimes it's like 50% okay. We're not endorsing this behavior, but hey, extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures. Here is a non-comprehensive list of six situations where being an asshole might be kind of acceptable.

1. You were kidnapped by a drug lord

You stopped by a Los Pollos Hermanos location and accidentally made a very specific gesture that signaled you were there to buy drugs. (In reality, the chicken nuggets were hot and you have clumsy fingers.)

Between being kidnapped and escaping the musty basement they locked you in for two weeks, you probably didn't have time to check your phone. That's OK, as long as you reply to all your matches within 5 hours of being free again.

Snippet form Breaking Bad Season 2
Breaking Bad Season 2, Episode 11

2. You were abducted by aliens

Coverage is shaky and roaming charges are outrageous in outer space, so we get why you wouldn’t want to send a goodbye text. Plus, you want to be single and ready to mingle in case you run into some cute aliens.

Astronaut in outer space

3. You were eaten by a dinosaur

Road trip driving to dinosaur mountain in utah

We all know that Jurassic Park could happen. You ran into a stray spinosaurus while your battery was on 3%: it’s understandable that you may have used the last of your juice to try and order an alternative supper for the Dino. (The restaurant food is for you, the delivery driver is for spino.)

4. Your dog ate your phone

If the peanut gallery starts asking how your five pound chihuahua ate an entire iPhone XL, tell them to stop fat-shaming your precious baby, Cocoa. iPhones are a good source of iron.

Dog standing on a phone with a bear doll wearing earplugs

5. You're crazy (and they know it)

At some point, a smart guy will come along and have you all figured out by the first encounter. He will be able to sense that the moment he pisses you off, you will ship all of his clothes to a charity in Africa.

It's crucial that you stay away from these men. They know your tricks and will try to temper your craziness. Target an unsuspecting man instead.

Villain woman with chemicals
Villain woman

6. You're back with the ex

Your ex is back with a new haircut, and things between the two of you are going better than ever. You told him that you deleted all the contacts you were talking to while you two were on a break, and that you're ready to give your all to him again.

Ghosting your other contacts here is borderline acceptable — but between you and me, a better solution is breadcrumbing. You know you and your ex are just going to break up again, so might as well leave your options open.

Woman touching another man behind her man's back
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