Dating and Relationship Advice

When I was younger, I never thought I could pause dating. I’d been actively looking for a boyfriend since I was 17. If I was single, I felt I needed to date. Even more so since dating apps were all anyone ever talked about by the time I graduated college.

But it wasn’t until two back-to-back breakups that I realized how desperately I needed a break from dating. That choice ended up being one of the best decisions for my love life. I was able to re-focus, invest in myself, and finally learn how to love being alone.

Doing anything for too long can become a negative presence in your life. A dating break can be beneficial not just for finding love but for your mental health, too. So let’s talk about signs that taking a break from dating could be just what you need.

Every time you go on dating apps, you feel worse about yourself.

Notice your mood before you get on a dating app and how you feel after. If you feel worse after swiping, consider how dating affects your mental health. While dating apps were created to help you find potential dates, they can also make you lose hope over time.

You’ve stopped seeing your friends and doing hobbies you love.

The last thing you want is for dating to take over your life. Spending time doing something you love is essential for feeling like yourself when you go on dates. If you can’t remember the last time you grabbed drinks with your friends, then maybe put a pause on dating and spend that time doing what matters most to you.

You have zero boundaries.

Boundaries are crucial for finding a relationship that feels right for you. Sometimes, searching for love can feel so draining that people ignore their standards and take any shred of attention thrown their way. Don’t let that be you.

You plan dates but flake on them right before.

A surefire sign that you’re not interested in dating is never showing up for the ones you plan. While it’s not cool to cancel last-minute on your date, you also don’t have to keep planning them if dating isn’t a priority right now. Take a break and revisit it when you’re ready.

It stopped being fun a long time ago.

Dating is just meeting a new person. Sure, you may have a layer of extra nerves, but it shouldn’t make you feel like you’re going on a job interview or visiting the dentist. If dating isn’t fun anymore, then why keep doing it?

You let others determine your worth.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling insecure; many people struggle with confidence. But if how your dates treat you affects how you think about yourself, your mood will be incredibly unstable. Instead, take time off from dating to build your self-worth. You’ll be better off for it in the long run.

You think being single is a problem that needs to be fixed ASAP.

Being single isn’t a bad thing. You get to spend your time however you want. There’s no one to steal your fries, and you can binge-watch Riverdale with zero guilt. While wanting love is part of being human, not being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re somehow less of a person.

You feel jaded about love.

If you expect everyone you date to hurt or leave you eventually, you may push them away before things even begin. Feeling cynical towards love changes how you show up for dates, which could make dating even worse for you.

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