Dating and Relationship Advice

For the longest time, I thought Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty was the perfect guy for me. He was a prince, as handsome as an animated character could be, and was loved by Aurora–what more could a girl want?

But then, as I got older and stopped searching in story books, I realized that Prince Phillip was just some guy in a movie I watched growing up, and I didn’t have any actual attraction to him.

Instead, I was crushing on guys who were in the same advanced English lit courses as me–or the bad boys who were ditching class. I was finding and figuring my perfect match through trial and error (a conquest I am still undergoing to this day). I learned that there are four basic kinds of matches that a person can have–and they are easier to detect than you might believe.

Your mirror…

They are your other pea in the pod. They are “You 2.0”. They wake up with the same yawn, stretch, and head scratch as you do. Whether its crying at the same corny movies or rolling your eyes at the same corny movies, this kind of match runs on similarities and simultaneity. This match is good for you if you crave predictability and value consensus. It isn’t the best type if you get bored easily or despise redundancy.

…or someone else’s mirror.

Maybe you’re falling in love with someone who is reminiscent of another loved one; a parent, a friend, a celebrity. They have the same level-head and balanced temperament, or similar conversation style and mannerism. Maybe they share your grandpa’s love of history books or your childhood friend’s sense of humor. This match is fit for you if you like well-tread practices in relationships and require deep levels of trust.

Your opposite

It’s as simple as the old adage: opposites attract. They go up when you go down and, instead of anger and aggression, you feel comfort and calm. This will be your ideal match if you love adventure and intrigue, and aren’t afraid of messing up. If you prefer avoiding confrontations and criticism, though, this might not be your route.

…or someone else’s opposite.

Someone might be a good match because of their resemblance to someone in your life. Dated a perfectionist, raised by a critic, or formerly besties with a gossip? Your perfect match might be someone who is easy-going, empathic, and open to new ideas.

So how do you find this match? Through reaction analysis. Find the person who fits what you need by signing up for iris, which uses images and advanced technology to find your ideal match. And the best part? Catfish are no one’s ideal match and so iris weeds them out. That’s what I call an ideal match-maker.

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