Dating and Relationship Advice

You only have a few moments – usually just the length of a single glance – to make a good first impression on a dating app. You know how it works, right? When someone likes a profile, they swipe right. If not, it's a swipe left.

Back in my dating days, I was the Queen of Immediate Left Swipes. I was vicious, truly. I would go through 100 guys in less than 3 minutes, swiping just as quick as their pictures would load. How was I so quick? I had a list of red flags. If I saw any of them in a dude’s profile, it was a hard pass. And I’m positive I’m not the only one who feels that way about these dating profile no-no’s:

1) Where’s the Effort, Bro?

It takes like 10 minutes max to fill out an online dating profile, so if you have phrases like “ask me if you want to know” or, worse, just a blank space where your details should be, it’s off to Left Town. If you can’t take the time to answer some basic questions about yourself or write down your interests, how can you take the time to get to know me and respect me as a human?

2) Too Many Mirror Selfies

Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the biggest douche of them all? The guy whose profile is only mirror selfies. I won’t fault you for one or two (especially if you’ve got the confidence to make them shirtless), but four? Five? Talk about self-involved. Also, do you never leave your bathroom? Let’s see some real-life shots.

3) Complainers

We’ve all got some gripes, especially these days. But if your dating profile is full of complaints about how hard it is to date online, how awful our society is, or even how much you hate *insert random thing here*, it’s just too much negativity for the beginning of a relationship.

4) Where’s Waldo?

There are few things more obnoxious than coming across a dating profile that’s only group photos. How am I supposed to know which of these Patagonia bros you are, Greg?! Please, do everyone a favor and include at least one picture of just you and your face.

5) No Pictures at All. Like Zero.

I just don’t understand dating profiles that have zero photos. I mean, sure, maybe we put too much stock in looks, but if you have literally no photos it makes me wonder what you’re trying to hide. Are you ready to put yourself out there for a relationship if you can’t even put a photo of yourself on the internet?

6) Supes Vague

While sometimes opposites do attract, the majority of relationships grow from shared interests. So, if your dating profile is ridiculously vague about what you do or how you like to spend your time, how am I supposed to know if we like the same things? Or, you might just be really boring and that’s also a firm no.

Take a quick look at your profile and try to put yourself in the mindset of someone seeing it for the first time.  If you’ve fallen into any of these traps, don’t wallow. Just be better. Make it easier for your next great love or awesome hang to find you.