Dating and Relationship Advice

Do you ever have a nagging feeling that something isn’t right in your relationship? Perhaps you worry that you aren't enough for your partner, or maybe that you're not as good as their exes. Navigating ex territory can be complicated. We all have relationship history, after all.

Even though it’s not technically infidelity, if your partner is hung up on an ex, it’s completely normal to feel cheated. We all have a right to love and respect; don’t diminish your worth by sacrificing those values.  Here are some signs that your beloved isn’t ready to move on and start a new chapter with you just yet.

They bring their ex up all the time

If their ex comes up organically once in a while, it isn’t the end of the world. But if your partner frequently mentions their ex, even when their past relationship has nothing to do with what you're talking about, that could mean they haven't moved on. Another red flag is if your partner makes comparisons between you and their ex. You deserve to be seen in a class of your own, not pitted against a past romance.

They keep relics of their past relationship

Does your partner still wear the scarf their ex made them for Christmas? Do they still keep in their phone the photos from the vacation they took with their ex two years ago? Your partner might be holding onto these photos or possessions because they are still attached to what these objects represent: their past relationship. Whatever the reason, don’t be afraid to bring it up in a discussion.

You feel like #2

If your partner still prioritizes your ex over you, that crosses a serious boundary. For instance, if they're willing to ditch a serious discussion with you because their ex needs a favor — that's a no-no and you should bring your concerns up right away. It means that your partner and their ex are still emotionally invested in each other, which isn’t fair to you.

The ex’s family is still in the picture

Does your partner still hang around their ex's family? That could be a warning sign that your partner and their ex haven't experienced the process of healing that requires both space and time. This is especially the case if your partner is still invited to their ex's family events and holidays. Unless you’re also present at all those events (which sounds pretty awkward), you might want to take a step back and reassess things.

They avoid talking about their ex

Avoiding this discussion could mean that it’s too painful for your partner to discuss, which implies that the feelings from that past relationship are still there. Additionally, If your partner becomes angry when talking about their ex, it’s not a good sign. These kind of reactions can originate from a deep pain that hasn’t totally healed. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re still in love with their ex, just that they aren't over their past relationship. If that's the case, they might not be emotionally ready to fully commit to a new relationship.

Your partner takes you on identical dates as they did with their ex

You can’t make room for new memories if you’re stuck in the ones from the past. If someone isn’t fully over their ex, they might start dating as a distraction and as a result, fill that emptiness by repeating the things they did with their former partner. If your ex is doing the same activities as they did with their ex or using the same nicknames, it could be an instance of this distraction.