Dating and Relationship Advice

What is Phubbing?

Phubbing is when you ignore those that are physically around you in order to pay attention to your mobile device. Phubbing has all sorts of negative physical effects on the body and threatens your four fundamental needs of belongingness, self-esteem, meaningful existence and control.

When it comes to phubbing your significant other, this bad habit can also take a catastrophic toll on your relationship as well as the mental health of each partner.

What You Miss While Staring at Your Screen

Imagine all of those moments that you probably miss because you’re too busy staring at your phone. Have you ever been part of one of those cringey couples that gets dressed up to go out to a restaurant, only to stare at their phones instead of having a conversation?

Phubbing isn't great for single people either, especially those who want to be in a relationship. You may be too busy drafting a Facebook status to see the beautiful girl who’s walking past you on the street. Or maybe you’re too busy scrolling through Instagram to see the handsome guy behind you in line at the coffee shop trying to start a conversation.

By putting away your phone more often, you’ll be able to capture more of life's precious, organic moments.

Excessive Phone Use Damages Relationships

Think about how your partner must feel while they watch you stare at your screen for hours on end. Are they not entertaining enough for you? What are they supposed to do when you two are trying to spend quality time together and you’re too busy scrolling through Twitter or answering emails?

After a certain point, your partner probably won’t feel they have any other choice but to pick up their phone too. And what’s the point of being in a relationship if you aren’t regularly engaging with each other? Whatever is going on in your phone, it surely isn’t as important as the people who are closest to you.

How to Limit Screen Time

Try being mindful of what triggers you to take out your phone. Is it boredom? Is it only when other people take out their phones? When you figure out what your triggers are, you can consciously make the decision to break the habit of pulling out your phone.

If you find yourself sitting with your partner in public and staring at your phone, put the phone away and try talking to them or holding their hand and engaging instead. Take a look around you at other couples in public that are glued to their phones instead of talking to each other. Don’t they look ridiculous?!

The Bottom Line About Phubbing

It’s ironic how phones and social media are supposed to bring us all together, but in truth push away the people closest to us. Always try to stay engaged as much as possible when you’re with your partner in order to maintain a healthy, happy relationship.

When couples communicate more, they feel as though their thoughts and feelings have been heard. This results in better mental health and self esteem for both partners and a stronger relationship overall.