Finding The One: Will I Really Just "Know"?
We’ve all heard the saying, “when you know, you know.” But is it really as simple as that?
In the world of modern dating, it doesn’t seem to be. Too often there are external pressures pushing you to and from potential suitors, as well as toxic dating trends such as wokefishing, benching, and ghosting. All of these factors make it hard for anyone to figure out if the person they are currently seeing is “the one.”
Although we want to hang on to this traditional ideology of love and soulmates, it’s difficult to ignore the effect that hookup culture and dating apps have on the classic love story.
So how can we tell if we have found our forever-person?
Feeling of Peace
We've all been in those relationships where it seems like each day is a struggle. There are petty arguments, constant disappointments, and toxic situations that dampen what could have been "true love."
Your forever-partner should make you feel at peace. You should have the feeling of genuine happiness whether you’re sitting right next to them or going about your day-to-day alone. Just having that bond should make your life feel easier. Contrary to popular belief, love shouldn’t be a fight and the sacrifices shouldn't outweigh the benefits. If you love each other and are meant to be, the give-and-take should be equal and easy to navigate.
When you find "the one," you will know—not because you will feel madly in love 100% of the time, but because will feel unconditionally loved and love your partner unconditionally back. Unconditionality doesn’t mean crazy stalker vibes. It means that even on your worst days, your partner will love you.
It’s inevitable that there will be times of upset in a relationship and you may not always like the choices your partner makes and vice-versa, but at no point should you feel unloved by your soulmate.
Support and Shared Vision
An important part of any relationship is having a shared vision. If your future plans don’t match up, that’s a huge indicator that it’s going to be a rocky road ahead. However, if you have a shared vision, you are able to help support each other’s dreams and manifest your future together.
That support and encouragement are what is most important. Humans, by nature, need that nurturing trait from the people they are closest to. It helps them believe in themselves and move forward in their careers, their home lives, and their spiritual and mental development.
When you are able to be your authentic self with your partner, you have truly found the one. Being vulnerable and letting your guard down is not easy for anyone, so finding someone who lets you do that is vital to any forever bond.
Having the guts to laugh loudly, cry openly, and show every bit of yourself to your partner allows you to feel more "yourself" than ever before, and lets your partner love you even more. Your partner, in turn, will also feel comfortable showing you all of their quirks. which will cause your love to grow stronger.