Dating a Man of Every Sign
Yes, I did it, so you don’t have to do it. I, a romantic and air-headed Libra, dated one of every sign in a quest to find out more about love — or at least the modern dating scene. So here are the ups, downs, and unexpected of dating the horoscope. I recommend hydrating before you go.
Artistic and intense, the Capricorn and I were doomed from the start. He was precise and calculated–ticked off if I was five minutes late for a date. But Tallah was also the best gift-giver and thought deeply about every issue that entered our relationship.
Even when we were in a relationship, I still felt like I had a crush on Ben. He was sweet and unique and beat to his very own drum. He wore chic 1970s clothes and didn’t let trends or typecasts tell him how to be. The only problem was that it might be hard to make space for yourself in their world when you’re dating someone as individualistic as an Aquarius.
J.D. was a high school heartthrob. I met him and instantaneously fell in love with his laid-back but room-commanding aura. He sat next to me in English and wrote me notes — “Daisy has nothing on you” — on small, folded paper. But by the second semester, I was tired of always being outdone and competing against each other.
Caleb had a playfulness about him that still makes me smile when I scroll across his Instagram pictures. He was never not smiling —loved to throw you a wink from across the room. But he had possessive streaks and a sense of entitlement that caused me to look for love in other places after the relationship ended.
Jack was steadfast and serious, empathetic and endearing. An overall great package. Our ultimate demise was that he was picking out floor plans two months into sleeping together.
He would be goofy and giddy, making the whole room roll on the floor with laughter, and then, when the night was over, he’d lean above me and peer at me through his bangs. His voice would deepen, my heart would swoon, and I’d get ready for the softest, sweetest kiss of my life. Then, someone else would walk into the room, and Darrell would have to go full giddy again. When you date twins, you get two of them.
Cancers, for the most part, are what you get. They are kind, caring, loving, and emotionally invested. Ariel was just this. All the time. At everything. A belated response to a text would instantaneously enroll me in a three-hour discussion on priorities and partnership in our relationship.
Something is special about dating a Leo. They live in their own worlds, and when you peer into it, you feel exhilarated and entranced all at once. Allan had a way about him that made you hold your breath even during the most mundane conversations. He was a Leo, though, and there are only so many times you can compliment them on their hair before you start to get bored.
Admittedly, Virgo and I didn’t make it past the first date. Whether that was because of predestined incompatibility — or my annoyance with his vanity — we’ll never know. I will say he was courteous, clean-cut, and didn’t hesitate to pick up the check.
The Libra-Libra combo is one to be feared. Peter and I were both curious conversationalists, doe-eyed dreamers, and very good at footsie. The problem with pairs is that you can find too much of a good thing when dating yourself.
I’ll tell you one thing, Scorpio loved himself. Eric was moody, distant, and overall belonged in an ad for hipster denim jeans. But, whenever we were out on the town, I felt like I was starring in my own indie movie.
On our first date, coffee turned into a walk, which turned into lunch, which turned into shopping at a local market, which turned into paddle boating, which turned into dinner, which turned into trying our hand at salsa dancing. I was never bored with Gene–he always had an adventure waiting around the corner–but, as a homebody, our brief and torrid affair left me wondering if he was looking for a rock–climbing buddy or a girlfriend.
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