Dating and Relationship Advice

When you’re being showered with romance and affection, you can easily get swept off your feet and begin feeling like Allie when she meets Noah in The Notebook. There is a point, however, when displaying too much love is unhealthy. This is where "love bombing" comes in.

Love bombing is defined as overwhelming someone with attention, neediness, and grand gestures in the beginning of a relationship as a form of manipulation.

These attempts can be used for positive or negative purposes. Nevertheless, bombarding someone you just started dating with grandiose gifts and declarations of love are major red flags. So how do you know if you're romantically entangled with a love bomber or experiencing true love? Well, there are some easily recognizable signs that you can watch out for.

They’re Needy and Clingy


When people develop feelings for a new partner, they often want to spend a lot of time together. A love bomber, however, will take it too far. They will attempt to spend every second of every day with you. They’re needy, clingy, and desperate for affection.

While the love bomber might present as confident, they’re often insecure on a subconscious level, similar to a narcissist. No matter how much time you spend with them, it will never be enough. This kind of person will eventually attempt to isolate you from friends, family members, and sometimes even work responsibilities.

They Say “I Love You” Early On


Falling in love doesn’t come with an exact timeline, but when your new SO is claiming that you’re soulmates after one week of dating, this is a clear warning sign. Be mindful of the phrases he is using in the early stages of your partnership. Here are some examples:

  • I have never felt this strongly for anyone.
  • No one understands me like you do.
  • Finding one another was destined to happen.
  • I can see myself marrying you, soon.
  • I love you more than life itself.

They’ll Pressure You


With one of the red flag phrases being, “I can see myself marrying you,” you now know that love bombers are infamous for dropping hints for locking down a future with you right away. This is usually done for the sake of romantic manipulation. If your partner is pressuring you to marry him, bear his children, or move into his apartment within the first few months of dating, run.

Their Behaviors Overwhelm You


Love bombers often overwhelm their victims with their intensity. But who doesn’t adore a man who is charismatic and charming? The thing is, when he never turns down the charm, and constantly compliments you or seeks external validation for himself, that’s a problem. The greatest love stories aren’t rushed or pressured—they’re patient and respectful.

They Blow Up Your Phone


Sitting beside your phone and anxiously awaiting a text message from your new partner is part of the thrill—butterflies flutter in your stomach when your phone chimes. That said, if your cell is ringing off the hook, there’s a good chance you’re being love bombed. If he’s also texting you early in the morning, super late at night, or even worse, every hour on the hour, you might consider re-evaluating your new relationship, or better yet, finding a different one.