Dating and Relationship Advice

Regardless of who you are, it can be difficult to distinguish the line between charming and creepy when it comes to flirting. When you’re attracted to someone, nerves can sometimes cause you to give off the wrong vibe. Additionally, there are some unsaid rules that nobody talks about, and can be kind of hard to grasp unless you’re a flirting pro.

Whether you’re introverted, socially anxious, or just inexperienced with flirting, here’s how to handle approaching someone when you’re into them and want them to know. Test the waters with our following tactics.

Don’t corner them

There’s nothing creepier than trapping someone into talking to you. Whether it’s in an elevator, at a party, or while taking public transit, never make someone feel like they don’t have an out.  It comes across as threatening because you’re essentially forcing them to engage in small talk. To prevent yourself from coming off as predatory, keep cool with relaxed and open body language.

Don’t use a gross pick up line or catcall

Even a corny icebreaker that makes the other person laugh might do the trick. But you definitely won’t charm someone’s pants off with a crass line or a catcall. I mean, what woman walks down the street when a guy harasses her and automatically falls in love? A genuine and friendly introduction is perfectly fine.

Make them laugh

Let’s be real: when you’re flirting, the pressure can feel like it’s at an all-time high. But if you can find a way to make the person you’re dating laugh, that’s half the battle. Humor is a fantastic and organic entry to flirting, and also helps you understand if you share the same sense of humor with the person you’re into. Pro tip: this doesn’t mean barraging them with joke after joke.

Use body language

Eye contact is a smoldering way to connect with someone, and strong eye contact implies confidence. It also makes you appear more trustworthy. That being said, you should make sure to look away once in a while. You don’t want serial killer eye contact. Point your body in the person’s direction and don’t cross your arms or put your hands in your pocket. Maintain proper posture and stick your chest out.

Come up with something to talk about

There are all kinds of small talk to help avoid socially awkward situations. If making conversation about the weather feels too cringe-worthy, you can always chat about popular topics in the media and the news (honestly, there’s no shortage in 2020) as well as talking about pets, community events, or something you’ve been reading about.

Don’t fear rejection.

If you have a stressed-out energy, you’re just passing that intense vibe to the person you’re flirting with. Be comfortable in your own skin! If you’re not panicking about rejection, you’ll realize there’s truly nothing to lose from shooting your shot with someone. Therefore, the pressure will decrease, and your self-esteem will flourish.

Find common ground

Were you raised in the same place? Do you both have a dog or cat? Where have both of you vacationed to recently? By discussing everything from your favorite food to what TV show you’re watching,  you can find some common ground to get to know the other person. Doing so will help you forge a genuine connection rather than seeing them as a piece of meat.

Understand when it’s time to back off

There’s nothing worse than over-flirting. It makes you come off as clingy and desperate. It can get quite annoying for the person on the receiving end. Instead, try to be self-aware and pay attention to the other person’s body language, if they avoid eye contact, or additional signals. Most importantly, if they’re vocal about it, swallow your pride and move on.

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