Dating and Relationship Advice

Breakups can be devastating, especially in the age of social media. It can hurt your self esteem, leaving you to feel bad about who you are and how you look. Even when you do feel empowered, thinking “screw them, I’m hot,” those moments don’t tend to last.

So how in the world can you maintain high (ish) self-esteem after a breakup? Below are five ways to feel like yourself again.

1) Spend time with loved ones and ask for their affirmations

Spending time with your friends and family can remind you that you’re worth so much more than your ex’s opinion. You'll feel important, valued, and cared for, all while having a good time. And while you’re with your loved ones, don't be afraid to ask for some affirmations—statements to confirm how great you are and how much your loved ones care about you. Let them know you need supportive comments, and I’m sure they’ll share some in a heartbeat.

2) Write affirmations on sticky notes and post them everywhere

Start by writing qualities you like about yourself on sticky notes, then post them all over your house. You can even make the notes sassy, if that helps. Stick them on your laptop, fridge, bedroom door, bathroom mirror, and any other place where you may feel bad or that may remind you of your ex. Practice reading the notes every time you see them, and you’ll remember what a badass you are.

3) Analyze the relationship in honest and helpful ways

You shouldn't over-analyze your recent relationship, but it can be helpful to analyze it a little bit. Sometimes, when you really look back at the relationship and the breakup, you'll realize you weren’t the problem at all. For example, your ex might have had too much going on to give you the time and attention you deserve. And in that case, the breakup was probably good for you both, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

4) Buy new clothes and makeup

If you’re feeling insecure about your appearance or need a pick-me-up to feel amazing, consider buying some new clothes, makeup, or accessories (if your wallet allows it, of course).  You can try new looks and eye-catching pieces that will make you feel confident. Then, have a night out in your new outfit with friends!

5) Work on a self-esteem therapy worksheet

Working on a self-esteem therapy worksheet may feel a little weird at first, but you will feel so much better at the end. Look through the different worksheets available online and find one that speaks to your current needs. You can do it with a therapist or even on your own.

Ultimately, remember you are an incredible person regardless of what your ex might did or said. You are more than your past, and you will move past this pain in time.