Dating and Relationship Advice

Cutting someone off — whether it's a friend, family member, or acquaintance — is never easy. It's normal to worry about missing them or about causing conflicts.

The period after a romantic breakup can feel especially tough. Even when you think you’re over someone, like an ex, you may still dream about them — which can cause you to feel confused and doubtful about your decision.

However, saying goodbye to painful relationships is crucial. It's something all of us have to deal with at some point. But if you’re like me, you end up struggling with guilt years later, even when you know you did the right thing and handled the situation gracefully.

If you experience guilt or doubt around your decision, remind yourself of these three truths:

1) You deserve a healthy, happy relationship 一 and you can find one.

After being in an unhealthy relationship, it’s easy to feel like you'll never find a happy one. The hit to your self-esteem and the ache for a friend or romantic partner may cause you to put up with less than you deserve.

But remember that you are worthy of a relationship that makes you feel safe, cared for, and special. Sometimes, you have to cut off people to find the person who will make you feel that way — whether that's a friend, romantic partner, or mentor.

That doesn’t mean you’ll never find love. In fact, it means you'll have a better chance at finding it. As someone who ended a relationship before finding her soulmate, I’m proof of that.

2) You’re responsible only for yourself.

Something several therapists have taught me over the years is this: you’re responsible only for your own emotions and actions.

You can’t control how others will respond to your choices. You can’t control their feelings or reactions. However, you can control your own.

So while we usually want to treat others with respect, their well-being isn’t up to us. If you need to let someone go so you can be okay, that's your prerogative.

In those situations, try to feel proud of yourself for taking a difficult yet important step.

3) Letting someone go doesn’t make you a bad person.

Deciding to take care of yourself isn’t something to feel guilty for or ashamed about. Easier said than done, I know, but it's a vital truth.

Cutting someone off because they hurt you doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re a human worthy of respect, and you need to take care of yourself.