Your Best Relationship, According to Your Sign and Sex and the City Character

Carrie Bradshaw and bad dates were an iconic duo before we even knew what that phrase was. She, her friends, and their flings explained sexuality, civility, and society in a way that few shows before it — or since — have done. By exploring each of the fab four’s basic personalities and how their traits align with the four horoscopic elements, we can learn a lot about the signals of a successful relationship and, equally as important, an unfortunate one. Spoilers, sassiness, and shoe references ahead.

Charlotte is a Water sign: With the tenderness of a Cancer, the severity of a Scorpio, and the poise of a Pisces, the formerly Episcopalian princess exudes what it means to be an empathic, imaginative Water sign. If you are a Water sign, you share Charlotte’s appreciation for the arts and attitudes toward romance. You feel as optimistic as she does about the future but share her fear of loneliness, rejection, and insincerity.

Charlotte has endured several signs of successful relationships and ill-fated ones as a token Water sign. Trey and Charlotte worked out when she felt validated by him — through gifts, public displays of affection, and inclusion in high-society spaces. She felt unloved when she was not receiving routine validation — i.e., bedroom, baby, and Bunny troubles. As soon as the validation stops, a Water sign dries up. Harry, alternatively, gave Charlotte a validation that could never wither away: authenticity. Because she was well-acquainted with his grossness and crassness, genuineness, and kindness from the get-go, she never had to worry about the validation going away: He loved her as long as he was him.

Carrie is a classic Air sign, a sex and romance writer with obsessive tendencies and a penchant for being liked. She’s spacey but sweet like an Aquarius, romantic but reasonable like a Libra, and testy but trendy like a Gemini. If you, like Carrie, are an Air sign, you are extremely knowledgeable regarding topics you care about, as well as self-centered, friendly, and sincere. You also like to dive deep into other people’s personal lives but never pass up the opportunity to spill a saucy secret about yourself.

The signs of successful and ill-fated relationships are clear when it comes to the Sex and the City star. Carrie and Aidan would have never worked out. Aidan, an Earth sign, was pragmatic and faithful. He was set in his ways but down-to-earth; She would have exhausted him eventually. Carrie’s inability to commit directly led to her breakup with Aidan, indicative of much larger, star-driven signs of failure: She sought approval from others; he was comfortable with who he was. She needed excitement and expansion; he preferred KFC and the couch. She used material goods to express herself; he didn’t speak Chanel. They would have failed eventually because Carrie’s world revolved around her and her interests, and Aidan was uninterested in entering that world.

It’s the very same reason why Big and Carrie were so compatible: He permits her to be lost in her own world because he, a Fire sign, finds excitement in the adventure of her world. When they were together, their worlds intersect to form a Venn Diagram with them at the overlap. He was driven by passion, which brought Carrie on a romantic ride that she loved. He showered her with fun and exhilarating experiences. He excelled in her language: witty banter and cigarette smoke. He proposed to her with a shoe, a symbol that represented her. Everything he did was on terms that an Air sign would love, which is why they succeeded as a couple.

She’s Samantha. She’s adventurous and always open to new opportunities, like a Sagittarius. Her bold outfits and scene-stealing sashay show her inner Leo, and the thrill-seeking string of one-night stands signals Aries. If you’re also a Fire sign, you’re excitable and energetic but can also be elusive and erratic. You won’t back down from a fight but also harbor some seriously secret insecurities. As a Fire sign, Samantha’s best relationships are strong ones: deep with passion, exuding with confidence, and ensuring independence. Each new hookup allows artistic expression; each orgasm an accomplishment. Because she’s a rush-riding, radiant Fire sign, Samantha’s best life is the one she lives.

Though seemingly a perfect pair, Samantha and Richard were doomed from the start. Both were Fire signs and unabashedly so. Neither had the emotional capacity for each other, but both demanded being the entirety of each other’s attention. Each wanted empathy. Neither could give it without insecurities. But Smith kept things spicy in the sheets and unpredictable on screen: He was patient and intimate, opening up unfamiliar and exciting experiences to Samantha. As good as a Water sign was for Samantha, a Fire sign as fierce as she can ultimately only stand alone.

If you are a Miranda, and by extension an Earth sign, you want your information fast, clear, and without frills. Here goes:

• Miranda is a practical Earth sign because she is stubborn like a Virgo, grounded like Taurus, and competitive like a Capricorn.
• You are like Miranda if you appreciate order, transparency from others, realism, and having a sense of security in your social and romantic relationships.
• Miranda and Skipper could never work because an Air sign, Skipper, was too obsessed with being liked and feeling equal in the relationship for a straightforward gal like Miranda.
• Miranda and Richard were more compatible because he was a Fire sign. He made her feel valued and cultivated through his passion, but ultimately that passion overwhelmed her stable Earth sign self.
• Miranda and Steve were almost perfectly compatible because he, a Water sign, was attuned to emotions and patient with her despite her strong-willed ways. (This writer does not acknowledge the Steve slander in “And Just Like That.”)
• But Miranda’s best relationship was with her vibrator because it never talked back, never questioned her or made her feel insecure, and always let her be the center of attention.