Dating and Relationship Advice

Her main pic immediately caught your eye. You both swiped right. Now, rapid-fire banter is flying back and forth, and you are thrilled to discover that you have the same sense of humor and the same favorite shows. But then, you ask her what she does for a living and her reply leaves you wondering what to say.

Her: Looking for work, but for now I have an OnlyFans.

OnlyFans is a subscription service that people mostly use to sell risqué photos and videos. There are around 450,000 content creators on the site, and more joining all the time. Its creator base has exploded during the pandemic as people all over struggle to keep ahead of the bills.

But, what does it mean if the woman you’re about to go on a date with has an account?

In short, probably nothing.

Look, it’s been a year since the novel coronavirus popped up in Wuhan. At this point, nearly everyone has or needs a side hustle. OnlyFans is a good one for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. You don’t need to apply for the job, you just open an account. Every one of us walks around with near pro-grade cameras in our pockets, so we all have the equipment. And since many people have other commitments like work or school, having work that is flexible is a necessity.

Most people who do OnlyFans are looking at it as an income source and creative outlet. Meeting fans is considered unsafe and sort of taboo, so you aren’t at risk of cheating. Most content creators on the site consider fan interaction a professional duty, not a source of much-needed validation.

What about the content? I say, don’t worry. When dating as an adult, chances are someone else saw your current flame naked before you did. In this case, it’s a bunch of people she is never going to meet. If you are worried about how explicit it is, you can always ask general questions about what she shows.

Now, there can be some legitimate concerns. In Reddit threads, many commenters worry that someone working on OnlyFans would end up with no marketable skills and a big, hard-to-explain gap in their resume. But this fails to recognize that self-produced content does require skill. You need to know how to set up lighting and how to frame a shot. You need a marketing mind that understands what people want and how to put your personal spin on it.

Look at whether she’s a well-rounded individual outside of work. Does she like to read? Compete in long distance cycle races? Create art? After all, it’d be just as dull to date a hedge fund manager without any outside interests.

If you’re going ahead with the date, know that you’re not alone. While Quora and Reddit are full of posters who panic at the idea of dating someone with an online sex biz, not all posters are against the idea.

“Absolutely,” said one Reddit user, when asked if they’d date someone who had an OnlyFans. “I think having a relationship with someone so open sexually would be blissful. I’m not insecure and willing to take the chance. SW [sex workers] are still people.”