How To Take A Break From A Relationship Without Killing It
The term “taking a break” tends to raise red flags. If you hear about your friends taking a break from their relationship, it’s only natural to think their romantic life is on the rocks. When your partner asks for the two of you to take break, it’s easy to feel worried that they don’t want to be with you anymore.
In reality, breaks can be a healthy way to save a relationship. Many people take breaks if their trust has been broken, or if something tragic happened and they need time to cope. It is also a great way to gain clarity in the relationship and see if they are getting what you need from the other person.
Taking a break does not have to mean the end of a relationship, especially if it has a solid foundation to make up for the time apart. Here are some tips on how to take a break from a relationship without totally killing it.
One of the most important steps in deciding to take a break is to be honest about why you need the break. If you tiptoe around the issue, then it will never be resolved. It’s better to say upfront what you are looking for from the time apart. This will help your partner to understand your needs and respect your decision.
A break is between two people, not just one. In order for it to work, you need to build mutual understanding and support between you and your partner. Setting boundaries is essential. Discuss what will change and stay the same between the two of you during the break. Are you allowed to see other people? How frequently are you allowed to communicate with each other?
After the break starts, you must adhere to your boundaries. Frequently hanging out does not really give you the clarity you need to deal with the issue at hand. It’s better to hold off until you are back on.
Establish A Time Frame
Setting a time frame for the break will make it emotionally easier for both of you. You should establish ground rules for when the break starts and ends, so you'll know exactly when you'll be able to talk to the other person again. The timeframe should be realistic. Generally speaking, two days is not enough time to deal with an issue. Try a week, two weeks, or even a month so that you can properly evaluate where you and your partner stand.
Focus On Yourself
One of the biggest mistakes that people make during a break is worrying about what their partner is doing. Trust is very important during a break, but it can be hard to attain. Try your very best to focus on yourself. This will not only distract you but will give you the space you need. The intention of the break is to work through your own feelings and emotions without the distraction of the relationship.
Dating during a break is a big no-no. Breaks should not be used as an excuse to hookup or explore a new relationship for comparison. This will only break the trust of your current relationship and add extra stress for the future. This is precious time for you to use your energy on yourself... not on someone else.