Dating and Relationship Advice

For months, the dating world has been a very scary place. Not just because of ghosting, benching, and catfishing, but because of health. The pandemic has added a whole new layer of the dating-scaries to the scene.

But now that the lockdown is over, is the dating scene back to normal? We asked a few New York natives to get the inside scoop on how people are actually dating this fall.

Dogs > Dating

“So I don't know if you’d call it dating, but I had a quarantine fling with a friend from home a la Sweet Home Alabama, (sans rich fiancé in New York).

I’ve have a lot of precautions for dating, especially since it would all be text/online. My best friend for about for a month took charge of one of my dating app accounts and guys have found their way to my Instagram and they’re looking forward to meeting me AFTER everything returns to normal, but there’s nothing exciting for me waiting on that other side... I will say I’ve had some guys hit me up interested in dating and I’m like, there’s a pandemic going on and you want a booty call??!

I guess all in all, Covid has only upped the feeling of "impossible hopelessness" because now I think of dating so much more of a numbers game like, ok, say we get out of full quarantine (whenever the vaccination happens) and I meet a guy, say it goes well and we become somewhat exclusive, so then that’s 2-3 years of dating and by then I’m around 33. Then what about marriage? And then maybe kids? It all sounds exhausting to me, so I’ve decided to get a dog.”

—Lauren, 29

Safety First

“I have really never navigated the dating scene well. Prior to Covid I had been taking time to figure out myself before trying to get involved with someone else. When I finally started to feel ready to put myself out there, Covid happened.

I take isolating and quarantine very seriously. I had been talking to someone for awhile via an app and they wanted to meet with me after a bit. I lightly declined because of the circumstances. After I led the conversation in a different direction, I realized that they had moved onto the next because of my refusal. I find it a blessing and a curse, because I would rather find someone safe who would continue to talk to me and whatnot during this pandemic.

If I were to meet with someone, say that one who asked me out, or a different date, I would want to go outdoors on a walk or in an open space. I have no problems with that and feel much more comfortable. I feel like after a really solid foundation and meeting a few times in these spaces, it would be a nice and steady way to develop something. That being said, I don't think I’m going to find anything substantial during this period of time. I’m ok with it, as I’ve been single for quite sometime now. Need the rust to fall.”

—Adam, 29

Priorities, People

"I barely dated before the pandemic. I’m also high-risk, so I don’t even go out with friends and I wear a mask in my own house. Dating is definitely not a priority for me during this."

—Gigi, 33

Socially Distanced Dating

“I have been dating sparingly during quarantine. On the few dates I’ve been on, we have been going to parks, museums that social distance, and outdoor restaurants. Usually we take off our masks, eventually, but not always. It’s definitely a lot more difficult to make a move as far as holding hands, kissing, or even hugging as everyone wants to be safe.”

—Sam, 31

Covid Made Men Worse

"To start with, I was dating someone during quarantine so I did not know how people were dating at the time. I went back to one of the dating apps just recently and I have been getting matches with guys.

Without wanting to sound too negative I must say that the whole pandemic situation has only enabled men to be worse than they usually are, make way less effort that they usually make and all while having a good excuse for it. I have had guys ask me to go over to their place on the first date, because "they don't want to risk going out" which is just code for "let's hook up and never hear from each other again...but this way I won't even have to leave my house to do it," whereas in the past the least they could do was meet for a drink first.

I don't think that us not being in quarantine anymore has changed the dating scene much. People are still not sure about going and being out with other people and at least for me this is very annoying because I don't want to just go over to someone's house who I've never met before. It is not safe."

—Megi, 25