Dating and Relationship Advice

Even in 2021, homophobia runs rampant. Homophobic people discriminate against and even violently attack gay and lesbian people simply because of who they love.

A related issue we need to talk about is this: biphobia.

Biphobia is prejudice, fear, or hatred toward bisexual people. It can look like making jokes and believing bisexual stereotypes, such as bisexual people being “greedy,” or “just in a phase.” It also entails excluding bisexual people when talking about the queer community as well as saying a woman who's only dated men has to be straight.

One aspect of biphobia I find most sickening, however, is that it doesn’t come only from queerphobic people. Biphobia can come from the queer community, too. While queerphobic people find bisexual individuals “too queer,” some people in the LGBTQIA+ community find them “too straight.” As a result, bi people struggle to fit in anywhere.

It’s past the time to talk about how to support your bisexual partner, regardless of your gender. Bisexual people need more backing from both heterosexual and queer communities. Below, check out five ways you can support your bi partner during Pride Month (and every other month!).

Affirm their sexual orientation

Make sure your partner knows you affirm their bisexual identity. You can do this by referring to them as bi and buying stickers or keychains with the bi flag. You should avoid questioning or doubting them when they share their sexuality with you. Additionally, you can be mindful of how you refer to the two of you as a couple; for example, say “we’re in a sapphic relationship” instead of “we’re in a gay relationship.”

Educate yourself on biphobia

Regardless of your sexuality, you should educate yourself about what biphobia entails, even if you think you know everything already. Learn more about the stereotypes, harms, and inaccuracies you may have heard or believed. Take that a step further by not making jokes that play into those wrong ideas.

Attend Pride events

Accompanying your partner to Pride events and other LGBTQIA+ friendly events can be a way to show your support for their sexuality and inclusion in that community. However, if you’re cisgender and heterosexual, you may want to be more mindful. Some events are meant only (or mostly) for the queer community in order to help them feel extra proud, comfortable, and safe. I suggest asking your partner about the event and what they’re comfortable with before attending.

Stand up for them

If someone makes a biphobic comment to your partner, stand up for them! It can be hard and scary for people to stand up for themselves when they experience discrimination, so it's crucial to back them up when you're in a position of privilege. Express how you disagree or feel uncomfortable, then give your partner a little extra love later.

Ask them about their needs

Keep in mind that every bisexual person is different; what they do and don't feel okay with may differ. You can ask your partner what their specific needs and triggers are. How do they want or need you to support them in their identity? Then follow through on what they say.