Dating and Relationship Advice

One of the most romantic ways to prepare for bed after a long day is cuddling on the couch with your partner and binge-watching the heartwarming series “This Is Us.” Mandy Moore and Milo Ventimiglia play the iconic television couple, Jack and Rebecca Pearson, in an all-star ensemble cast.

The episodes bounce back and forth, showing scenes from the past, present, and future — revealing new aspects of the couple’s history together.

The epic romance that unravels between Jack and Becca inspires people to find potential matches on dating apps or in person. But now we aim higher: We want a SO who can live up to the standards Moore and Ventimiglia created.

True Love Helped Jack and Rebecca Overcome Tragedies

The Pearson’s love story is the epitome of #relationshipgoals. Rebecca and Jack married in the ’70s, but the show spans several decades, revealing all the milestones and challenges.

When Rebecca was nine months pregnant with triplets and ready to burst, she delivered one stillborn child. She had tears pouring down her face while a maternity gown covered her belly bump that hadn’t quite gone away yet — serving as a constant reminder of her loss.

However, Jack knew his wife better than the back of his hands. Even though he isn’t perfect per se, his entire family considers him a superhero. While he made decisions at times that pissed Rebecca off, she usually embraced them and felt grateful in the end.

So here’s the scoop: He decided they’d take home a newborn with the same birthday as the twins. And their soon-to-be adopted son’s bio parents were drug addicts and financially unstable — the father abandoned the poor little fella’ outside a firehouse.

Jack and Rebecca from "This is Us" together

Jack and Becca became the best mom and dad to the cutest triplets, AKA, “The Big Three.” All three kids were their children, and blood relation was unimportant to the Pearsons.

When The First Date Is An Epic Fail

Rebecca gave Jack a second chance even though the first date turned into an epic fail. Jack desperately wanted to impress her. But with nine crumpled-up dollars he’d borrowed from a friend, the date he planned at a carnival became a hot mess.

Jack felt too much pride and embarrassment when he couldn’t afford an umbrella for Bec. It was pretty bad. We’re talking about pouring rain, awkward silences, just enough cash for one ride or game, no food, obvious excuses, and the inability to shield his soulmate from the rainstorm.

However, Rebecca’s exes didn’t make her feel the way Jack did. He made her feel beautiful, talented, heard, seen, and interesting. And she enticed Jack, and he fell fast and hard for her.

So how did a beautiful couple’s fairy tale romance come to a tragic end?

The Pearson family home burnt to ashes, resulting in Jack’s untimely death. He had a heart attack from smoke inhalation after he saved Becca, their teenage triplets, and the family dog. This scene — perhaps the most traumatic I have ever seen — involved an explosive fire caused by a defective slow cooker.

Rebecca learned that life hands you sour lemons. During devastating and heart-wrenching times, you just need to make something resembling lemonade.

Jack and Rebecca from "This is Us" hugging

Some Dating Apps Match People Based On Mutual Attraction

Ben Brafman, MS, LMHC, CAP, co-founder and clinical director of Sylvia Brafman Mental Health Center, told us, “Mutual attraction is when two people are captivated by each other’s physical traits and personality.” And he believes that honesty is key in all relationships. So when one partner isn’t truthful with the other, the chances of falling in love and staying in love like Jack and Rebecca are slim to none.

But our generation is met with a challenge: Meeting new people to court us or ask us out. There’s no way to find your happily ever after without a stereotypical, awkward first date.

“I’m a fan of technology. Can you use a dating app and find your soulmate? Sure. You can find your soulmate anywhere. Dating apps boost the process of finding fun dates, and in time, true love,” said Claudia E. de Llano, LMFT.

There are dating apps taking precautions against deceit nowadays. Let’s take a poll: Who hasn’t gone on a date with (or knows a friend who has) a dude who used fake pictures on his profile, ended up being married with kids, or only wanted a one-night-stand? (Drumroll, please) Everyone!

No one wants to be catfished. The fear of being tricked or lied to can deter people from creating a profile, swiping left or right, and making the first move.

I recently downloaded a dating app — I felt excited and weary once it finished downloading. The first prompt? Take a real-time selfie right there on the spot. The app recognizes whether your profile photos are real, matching that selfie.

The next step was pretty fun. 20 stock photos popped up, and I selected my faves. The app learned what I physically like in both men’s and women’s appearances. Every time I clicked yes, maybe, or no, my preferences were better understood.

Jack and Rebecca from "This is Us" holding hands

“Mutual attraction is the ineffable connection of two souls. If my subconscious likes what it sees in yours and vice versa, we feel mirrored in a way that builds attraction,” de Llano explained.

When swiping through your matches, the first sign of chemistry that'll appeal to you is physical attraction. If the other person's attracted to you, too, then the feeling's mutual. Once the initial stages like fun convo and the first few dates are over, you'll likely find your match's physical appearance and personality enticing.

So, are you on the hunt for a convenient, effective and efficient dating app? iris Dating has an artificial intelligence engine that increases your chance of finding love, while matching you with others based on mutual attraction.

I personally haven’t found a perfect match on a dating app, but I don’t need to. I’ve already found the Jack to my Rebecca —and in case you’re reading this, babe, I love you.

If you're looking for advice on how to maintain happiness in relationships, check out EQ's top five tips. We won't steer you wrong. Promise ;)

Appreciate Each Other’s Differences

Jack filming pregnant Rebecca in "This is Us"

When Jack gazes at his soulmate, it’s enchanting in a magical way… even for fans watching old episodes. Becca felt like she was the only person in the entire universe, his universe.

But all couples fight once in a while, —so learning to engage in healthy communication is essential. No more passive-aggressive eye rolls, loud arguments the neighbors can hear or dismissing what your partner has to say. Your feelings are valid. Period.

Rather than wasting time arguing about why your opinions are “right,” be sure to foster freedom and individuality in your relationship. Jack and Bec laid a solid foundation early on, which can prevent the long-term goals couples create together from falling apart.

“Love is the most magnificent elixir of our human embodiments. So take a mental note of your beliefs and values and implicit and explicit rules for life. Then ask your partner about their values, morals, and beliefs — believe it or not, you can benefit from learning this about them. When two people have a belief system that aligns, the road ahead is smoother. Although, it’s perfectly normal to have different opinions,” de Llano stated.

Choose Your Battles Wisely

Jack kissing Rebecca's forehead

Passion flies straight out the window when you mention every little mistake your loved one makes. You don’t want to nag or parent them, trust me. There’s no need to invite unnecessary stress into your relationship. So pick your battles from here on out..

Jack suffered from alcoholism, and his drinking negatively impacted the whole family. In one scene, Becca found him at a motel where he’d been staying — Jack was attempting to put down the booze, so he wouldn’t purposely harm his wife and triplets.

Regardless, Rebecca just looked him in the eyes, saying, “You are my husband, and I am your wife, and if you have a problem, we will fix it together.” From that moment on, the Pearsons worked together like a team.

Express your anger, sadness, or disappointment in a civil and respectful manner. Even a slight change in your tone of voice or body language speaks volumes to your partner.

Brafman said to ask yourself if you’d care about the argument in six months to a year? What about five to 10? The following day, will you remember what had upset you in the first place? “If you answered no to even one question, the best course of action is probably keeping quiet,” he continued.

Express Yourself Without Hurting Your Partner

Jack and Rebecca from "This is Us" lying in bed

Listen. Listen. Listen. When you let your SO tell the same stories repeatedly, you show them that you care about what they’re saying. You should validate their feelings even when you aren’t in agreement.

Mr. and Mrs. Pearson tackled obstacles together by setting boundaries and practicing forgiveness. They worked through their problems rather than minimizing, belittling, and insulting each other.

De Llano advised, “Never insult or ignore your partner, and speak assertively when expressing your feelings. It’s game over for people who start sentences with the word “You.” It sounds like an accusation is being made.”

“Begin with “I feel like…,” and then you’ll stand a fighting chance. This communication tool will keep your convos calm, clear, and honest,” she continued.

Reserve Enough Time To Spend Together

Jack and Rebecca from "This is Us" in a romantic hug

All six seasons of  “This Is Us” created a new standard for how partners should treat one another in relationships.

Spend time with your partner on a regular basis so the relationship you two share grows and develops. When you reserve space in your hectic schedule to create positive memories with your other half, the emotional connection comes damn near close to Jack and Rebecca’s.

Brafman said, “Once you identify which conversation topics and activities bring you and your partner closer together, you can talk for hours on end and partake in the activities you both enjoy.”

“However, you don’t have to do everything together; nor do you need to feel passionate about the same music, movies, restaurants, video games, stores, and so on,” he continued.

Carving time out for yourself deepens your appreciation for your partner. You’ll never know how much you care for someone until you’re apart for a little while.

Create New Traditions To Keep the Spark Alive

Jack and Rebecca from "This is Us" making love

So you’re hoping the new dude you met on some dating app will rise to Jack Pearson status? You need to keep the spark alive after the honeymoon phase ends. Plain and simple.

Jack and Rebecca had plenty of traditions that better helped them foster their special bond. Relationship Expert and Psychotherapist Lena Derhally, MS, MA, told Bustle that dating someone for the long term comes with a rollercoaster of ups and downs. So creating a few regular habits, patterns, and rituals together that you can celebrate often provides both partners a sense of stability, safety, and comfort.

Traditions evoke nostalgia and reconnect couples in need while strengthening even the most fulfilling relationships.

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