Dating and Relationship Advice

Messages are like men — finicky, particular, and seemingly impossible to crack sometimes. The first message can be a doozy — or endearing — depending on the content. No matter who sends it or what they say, the first message sent on a dating app is the most important in setting the tone for the future.

With Iris Dating app, it’s easy to know your mutual interests and feel empowered to send that first message. Because Iris matches are made based on visual reactions to images, you know that you and your new match have at least one thing in common. It’s the perfect app to try out sending first messages. Never send a “hey” or “how’s your week going” first message again.

Option #1: The pick-up line

“Damn son are you Lincoln because I want you to emancipate your pants”. This is an example of what not to do. A cheesy, generalized, nonsensical, offensive pick up line is a surefire way to get pegged as a creep. But a personalized and tame pick up line - with a cute compliment hitched to it - can be an excellent way to start the conversation by boosting their confidence while demonstrating yours.


  • If they’re a rock climber, say: “Did those muscles come from rock climbing or are you just naturally hot?”
  • “If I were to ask you out, would you prefer dinner or a movie?”
  • If they’re a blonde, say: “I was going to swear off cute blondes, but you might be making me reconsider.”

Option #2: The pick-me-up line

To the point and unapologetic, a “pick-me-up line” can show a guy that you are interested and eager to meet with them - without forcing yourself to do all the planning. If their profile emphasizes adventure, open-mindedness, and a receptivity to unorthodoxy, take a chance on a bold “pick-me-up line” that shows your fun side from the start.


  • “Will you teach me how to longboard?”
  • “Take me to wherever those tacos are from.”
  • If they mention they like wine, say: “I’ll pick the place if you pick the wine.”

Option #3: Who are you?

Has a profile got you confused? Are they cute but lacking character? Can you just not figure out their deal? Use a carefully concocted question to figure out what kind of person this is.


  • “Are you someone who prefers movies or TV shows? “
  • If they mention their favorite show, ask: “Are you a Tom, Ben, or Ron?”
  • If they mention that they’re “down to get drinks,” ask: “Are you a coffee or cocktails kind of person?”

Option #4: Settle a bet

A good conversation starter should be just that: a conversation starter. Kick off the convo with a question or topic of debate, a “settle a bet”, or even a truth or dare.


  • If they include their profession, say: “My friend said that anyone as cute as you couldn’t be a lawyer.”
  • If you see a college sweatshirt, ask: “Is it true that guys from [insert college] do it best?”
  • “Would you rather watch a movie with or without subtitles?”

Option #5: Think good thoughts

Positive association is a powerful thing. Introduce yourself alongside happy thoughts and good vibes.


  • “What was the best part of your day today?”
  • “If you could drop everything and move to a new city, where would it be?”
  • “Who is your favorite person to go out with?”
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